*- For those who don't know, Nollywood is Nigeria's film industry
Ok guys, like I promised (an era ago) I was going to post What I've Learnt from Nollywood (Nigeria's fast growing film industry), Disney and now, I've decided to add Telemundo(or Latin American telenovelas in general, since I've been coming across them on screens lately). I'll post these in three part segments and like the title says, I begin with Nollywood, 'as a patriot'.
1. The primus lesson: If the movie titles are not hackneyed and if they make sense to you, there's a serious problem.
These are all Nollywood movie titles (not fictitious): Desperate Love, Two In Love, Love in Paradise, Shattered Love, Village Love, enough with the love, now the stupid ones, Cry for Husband, Nollywood Babylon, Marriage to A Witch...Gosh.
2. The Nigerian Police Force is much more effective on screen and they'll come to a crime scene only if someone has the "DPO's" personal number on speed dial.
3. The wealthy heiress would much rather date the gardener's son she encountered for less than an hour over the fellow aristocrat she's been engaged to for more than two years.
4. Everybody who magically finds their way to the US of A, automatically has a financial breakthrough and comes back to his/her hometown with a Honda Element...or whatever automobile will make his/her elderly parents' neighbors gossip for weeks.
5. The most important lesson...POISONED FOOD IS THE MOST MOUTHWATERING.
P.S.- for those familiar with the actors in the Nigerian movie industry, Clem Ohameze always dies from poisoned food.
Speaking of food, there are three more things I've learnt from Nollywood, specifically, Dates in Nollywood movies. They are:
1. On a date, the guy's drink has to be black-hued and the lady's has to be yellow or orange-hued whatever they are.
2. For people to enjoy themselves, they have to compose music with their cutlery and crockery. Doesn't sound like a Coldplay symphony though. More like clink-clank-ANNOYING.
3. Lastly, to win a woman's heart, you have to order Fried Rice and Chicken, everytime and in every restaurant. It's a MUST.
Ok guys, like I promised (an era ago) I was going to post What I've Learnt from Nollywood (Nigeria's fast growing film industry), Disney and now, I've decided to add Telemundo(or Latin American telenovelas in general, since I've been coming across them on screens lately). I'll post these in three part segments and like the title says, I begin with Nollywood, 'as a patriot'.
1. The primus lesson: If the movie titles are not hackneyed and if they make sense to you, there's a serious problem.
These are all Nollywood movie titles (not fictitious): Desperate Love, Two In Love, Love in Paradise, Shattered Love, Village Love, enough with the love, now the stupid ones, Cry for Husband, Nollywood Babylon, Marriage to A Witch...Gosh.
 |
| I'm guessing the one at the top right corner is supposed to say 'Iraq and Iran' and wow, the POTUS has some new fans #LOL |
2. The Nigerian Police Force is much more effective on screen and they'll come to a crime scene only if someone has the "DPO's" personal number on speed dial.
3. The wealthy heiress would much rather date the gardener's son she encountered for less than an hour over the fellow aristocrat she's been engaged to for more than two years.
4. Everybody who magically finds their way to the US of A, automatically has a financial breakthrough and comes back to his/her hometown with a Honda Element...or whatever automobile will make his/her elderly parents' neighbors gossip for weeks.
5. The most important lesson...POISONED FOOD IS THE MOST MOUTHWATERING.
P.S.- for those familiar with the actors in the Nigerian movie industry, Clem Ohameze always dies from poisoned food.
 |
| Caution! Strange concoction in here. Collected from a man who always sits in front of a red backdrop. |
Speaking of food, there are three more things I've learnt from Nollywood, specifically, Dates in Nollywood movies. They are:
1. On a date, the guy's drink has to be black-hued and the lady's has to be yellow or orange-hued whatever they are.
2. For people to enjoy themselves, they have to compose music with their cutlery and crockery. Doesn't sound like a Coldplay symphony though. More like clink-clank-ANNOYING.
3. Lastly, to win a woman's heart, you have to order Fried Rice and Chicken, everytime and in every restaurant. It's a MUST.
P.S- I'd love to meet you
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